A mysterious person talking through a cell phone left in the store. The caller id is concealed. However, the way the phone spontaneously takes flight and bounces around suggests that it might be some kind of mysterious creature. Regarding itself, the phone says things like “I’m Clammy the clamshell phone fairy” and “Actually, everything you hear is just a prerecorded notification message.” Aside from its mysterious regenerative powers, it’s hard to dismiss the possibility that he’s a masochist who deliberately says things so that people physically lash out at him in anger. On the other hand, he has a wealth of knowledge about the Burial Agency, magecraft, and dead apostles, so no matter how you look at it, it’s someone important who cannot be ignored (?).